I’ve come to the realization that, while I’m learning to build myself up rather than break myself down, my heart knows that I would never suffice for you. Even if I had a rocking bod and the most epic face, I’m far too imperfect for you. Would it be negative thoughts if I admitted the truth? To admit defeat and realize this now, rather than go through life hoping and waiting only to be let down later?
I’m merely invisible compared to everyone else in your life; I’m no different than the thousands of other people you’ve met, and that’s quite alright. Ultimately, this entire post isn’t to whine about my flaws, or to tell you in a vague way that I’m into you. No, this post is simply to tell you about the impact you’ve had on my life, even if it is small.
It’s hard to find someone who is willing to take time out of their day (and to not act bored out of their mind) to listen to you ramble on about insecurities and flaws, likes and dislikes, etc. and I cannot thank you enough for that. The people I’ve previously had surrounding myself always brushed it aside and told me “eh, you’ll be fine.” To have someone actually seem like they cared; it helped a lot.
I also found solace and joy in listening to you speak about your flaws, passions, life. The spark in your eyes when you spoke of the things you love most tugged at my heart a bit. Why? Because it’s also hard to find people who are truly passionate about something, especially something that I’m also passionate about. It’s always a great feeling to have at least one thing that pulls you in towards other people: music is the one thing I cannot and will not ever live without. It’s phenomenal to meet others who feel the same damn way.
I know you won’t ever read this, and that’s absolutely fine. I think in a way it’d be better like that. Perchance you do scroll past this at some point in the future, just know your words, compassion and love for other people has impacted me for the better. You’ve shined an entire new light on how to live and cope with mental illness, and I will never be able to thank you enough for that. Thank you for making me feel worthwhile, even if our time spent talking was short-lived. You’re a fantastic human being; don’t ever forget that.